When Is It Okay To Spite Play?

Spiteful Bully | Art by Chippy

I'll let you know right now that this topic is not my forte. I'm not an expert in the art of the spite play, as you might call it.

I've participated in spite plays only a few times in my life. When I'm upset with another player, my emotional regulation technique in that situation encourages me to leave the game. I'm more of a salty scooper — even though I usually scoop at sorcery speed — than a spite player. Either way, I became fascinated with this tendency in a lot of players so I did a little research.

The Body of Spite

What would we call a "spite play"? Let's cover that before anything else. From what I can gather, it's a play that is not necessarily bad, but motivated predominantly by a retaliatory emotion.

The most obvious spite plays are usually glaringly bad, but some spite plays might be hard to decipher. For example, the next play could give an opportunity to one player over the other, but if unanswered either will have an advantage over you. Sometimes that choice is dictated by the feelings surrounding the person who keeps countering your commander.

"Spite plays" come in a lot of forms. It might present itself as removal, an unwillingness to politic, excessive interaction with someone's board — or targeting — and even taking choices of one game into the next game.

At least that's what I've gathered spite plays to mean in the community I reside in. Let me know in the comments if you'd add or remove anything from this definition.

However, for this article, I want to walk you all through some of the spite plays I found myself engaging in, and ask for your judgment. Was my behavior acceptable?

The Spite Deck Choice

I remember coming to the LGS on a Saturday. I sat down with a group of three people looking for a fourth player for their pod. I did this pretty regularly.

It's not often difficult finding a game where I live, and "random roaming" is what I participated in fairly often.

I sit down and ask what Bracket everyone was feeling. "I brought everything except Bracket 1," I said. This one guy said, "I don't care about the Brackets. I just want to play what I want." I argue that I'd like to play a balanced game so I can bring the appropriate smoke. He ignored me.

The rest of the table looked at me apologetically, telling me they were playing Bracket 3, but were uncertain what he would play. He often played something really strong, they'd said.

I said out loud, "Since we're in the mood to pubstomp, I'll play something strong." I pulled out my Tivit, Seller of Secrets deck and controlled the board for five solid turns, turning off every one of his engines, and then I had a long and explosive turn where I flickered Tivit a bunch and found Time Sieve. I kept a lot of interaction to protect my win condition and took a few extra turns until he was dead.

I didn't care about winning that game, really. I just cared about killing him. I was appropriate with my interaction though. I stopped anyone who went for anything so I wasn't just targeting him, but I did kill him first. He was the most threatening, to be fair.

Self-righteously, I wanted to prove a point. So many people don't realize how much Brackets protect players with weaker decks from stronger or potentially exploitative ones, or protect new players from more seasoned ones.

I insist on using some method of gauging power, and get very annoyed when someone willfully decides not to even make an effort to balance the game. That was the spite. I had cEDH in my bag but that seemed a bit more mean than I was capable of being.

He seemed particularly upset with the game, but he didn't say anything for a while. When we talked about shuffling up for the next game, he calmly said, "My next deck is not as strong as all that." I asked him what Bracket he thought it was. He said probably the level below whatever I played. I told him that it was Bracket 3.

What's your verdict on the first one? I pubstomped on purpose.

The Moral Imperative

I sat down at yet another random game at the LGS. The guy in question, this time around, told us his deck was Bracket 4, but it was more like Bracket 2.

Casually throughout the game he wouldn't pass priority or would play spells disadvantageously for himself. I would calmly attempt to correct him, let him know he couldn't cast a spell yet, or that play would hurt him more than he thought.

The latter I could see as being a little imposing. Not everyone wants advice on how to pilot their own deck, but sometimes I can't help myself.

Especially when it was excessive like this was.

The point here is that he would get defensive and argue with me. At first I just accepted it was because I was telling him what to do too much. Ultimately my partner, Stephen, a somewhat white-passing man, corrected him in the same way a few times. He wasn't defensive at all.

He just agreed. He nodded, siding with what Stephen had said. Now, I was used to men not listening to me when I talked about Magic, so I just rolled my eyes when I noticed him doing this over and over.

It was so comical that Stephen and I started doing it on purpose to prove how stupid he was being.

But repeatedly throughout the game he would randomly blow up stuff on my board when Stephen was in the lead. It was crazy. He like, at one point, blew up my Arcane Signet when Stephen had an Ashnod's Altar.

I would let him know that I thought it was a mistake and he would get defensive again. Stephen was annoyed too but we continued to play. I was certain he had some bias against me for my race or gender or something.

Ultimately Stephen goes for a win. I have the counter but I don't play it. Since we were colluding for Stephen to win, I could collude too.

This guy in question starts saying he would have won on his turn, and I spend a solid few minutes explaining to him that he wouldn't have. He doesn't take it well. Deep down inside, I was glad he didn't take it well. I also felt a bit guilty for it though.

That was until, on another occasion, he called my friend from Venezuela a slur to his face, and told my friends that he wouldn't be using the correct pronouns for them unless they matched what he thought they looked like. So, I came to the conclusion that my initial assumption was correct: he really had targeted me in the game probably for some racist or sexist reason.

I stopped feeling guilty after that, but what's your verdict on this one? I let someone win, just so someone else would lose.

Previous Game Knowledge

I often play with content creators online. There is one particular person who whenever I play with them, they win.

It's uncanny. They always have the best spell at the best time. They always have the answer to my win. It's sometimes just blind luck that someone else stops me right before they win. It got to the point where it was the tenth game I'd played against them where they'd beat me.

That game, I was on a mission to hold up interaction and removal only for them. The game continued and for some reason they were extremely behind and getting mana screwed.

I felt a little guilty holding up the interaction for them, but they always snuck in a win when I least expected it.

I was doing well, eliminating a player or two, leaving just the two of us. They tried for a win because they'd been mostly left alone the whole game because they were behind. Luckily, I kept the interaction to stop them, ultimately winning that game.

I felt guilty for saving all of my interaction for them, but ultimately I needed it. I don't have any animosity for this person, so maybe spite is too harsh a word to describe what this is, but some players would consider this a spite play.

It won me the game, but what is your verdict? I brought previous game experience into the decision-making process of a new game.

Conclusion

What is your verdict about me? Is it ever justified to spite play someone? I'm not sure.

It certainly felt good, but whenever someone spite plays me, it feels really awful. In general, I'm not motivated to spite play, but even when I do, I felt guilty about it. Something about giving in to a base instinct to harm another player for harming you, feels wrong.

Like, blowing something up on the way out just because someone is eliminating you, doesn't help you. It just feels like spite, but maybe they'll learn that next time if they're going to eliminate you, that there will be a reckoning.

Maybe that's a strategy for a play group's meta like keeping a deal in every game is an overarching strategy.

And is a spite play okay if someone uses slurs or misgenders you or your friends? I certainly did, but I'm not sure this sentiment is universal. It feels like a slippery slope maybe. I'm curious what you think. Should we give in to that base instinct or rise above it? I'm @strixhavendropout on everything.